The Shock of “Arrival”

Part 2

Arriving in an international airport, thousands of miles from home, in a foreign country is the essence of shock.  Combine that shock with a strong desire to absorb every morsel of newness; and the stress of trying to make every right decision so that the exchange is successful.  The result is the most exhausting, memorable, character building experience I can imagine.  The AFS flu refers to the sickness one endures during the first week in the host country.  Symptoms are: no appetite, sadness, confusion, numbness, and exhaustion.  But even at the depth of physical and emotional conditions; intellectually there is a realization that the hard work and planning is finally paying off.  This post will explore some skills that will give a traveler an advantage.  I will list some specific physical and cultural differences that must be navigated from day one.  And finally, I will entertain some possible shocks that will be waiting next year, as the cycle repeats, and I experience the shock of returning home.

On my arrival to Brazil I was quickly able to see the similarities between leadership and ambassadorship.  The character traits and skills needed are very similar and with communication being handicapped by my lack of Portuguese, other skills became very important and obvious.  Accountability is the first concern.  Keep yourself and your stuff together, the last thing you want to do is lose your passport, plane ticket, luggage, or money.  I have seen it happen.  Flexibility is a very close second.  People will be telling you what to do and you will have no idea what is going on.  Go with it; do not push too much. There will be many things that seem important to complete. But, it is impossible to do everything in the first week.  Attention to detail is extremely important, keep focused and pay close attention to instructions.  Responsibility, leaving home opens lots of doors to freedom, but don’t forget about reality.  There are people of authority that you must deal with.  Customs and immigrations agents are just two groups that are not impressed with your new found freedom.  Organization, planning, and decision making may not be necessary for immediate survival, but getting back on your feet quickly after arrival depends on your ability to put them back in productive use.  The planning, body language, and a sense of joy will get you through the airport.  Then the real fun starts.

The shock of arrival happens mainly because of the change in the physical environment. You can’t just plug in your phone, hook up to WIFI, read the signs, or understand the language.  Cultural differences add to the phenomenon and are just as important to recognize.  What, when, and how people eat.  Local accepted dressing habits.  How people observe rules for social activities.  The student’s expectations and the host family’s expectations cover the whole range of possibilities, and probably differ drastically.  If you are having any issues the most important thing to do is be flexible, aware, and ask those around you for explanation.  There are those that will enjoy giving a false translation and laugh when you use it later, but this type of joking is no real harm.  Important issues will be obvious and everyone will be helpful.  Avoiding a situation will result in miscommunication and can cause lasting damage.  I personally asked my host family on the very first night about rules and customs of the house.  This had the benefit of being factual rather than emotional.  I learned things to do or not to do without the embarrassment of being corrected.  There are still things I am learning but that first list of questions gave us all an agenda that made bringing up sensitive subjects easier.

   

In preparation for these physical/cultural differences, AFS provides several opportunities for students in their pre-departure stage to talk to a returnee from their host country.  Unfortunately, these conferences only begin to cover the information that you need.  I think the reason is because the returnee has gone through so many things.  The cycle continues, they are experiencing their part of returning and no longer feel the severity of what was once important.  Their experience is also often specific to their region, just as mine will be about Serra.  You can see from my blog that there is a lot of information to consider and I have not even begun to scratch the surface.  I write as much as I can and there are still things that I have forgotten.  If I was required to squeeze it all into an hour discussion, I think I would throw up my hands and simply say, “Just remember to breathe”.  Definitely important, but I am ashamed of the admission.  The lesson for us all is that when we are in an extreme emotional situation, like the shock of arrival, we should stay calm and do the best we can; because in a day or two the emotions will pass and the events will look totally different from the other side.  I actually began taking notes for this blog early in my arrival, now as I write in my sixth week; I no longer have the same feelings.  If I had to sit down to write with a blank slate, the story would be completely different.  The following is specific to my experience here in Serra.  Many of the things that caught my attention are probably from growing up on a farm and now living in the city, as much as from being in a foreign country. 

The most important thing I was told is to not flush toilet paper.  Just don’t do it, unless ofcourse there is no trash can and then you need to use the badet (ba day).  This is not a lesson you want to learn the hard way.  The badet itself is an example of a difficult concept to ask about or explain.  And for the sake of modesty I will just say it is not a foot washer.  Maids are popular in Brazil, but if your family does not have a maid, then it is likely that you will wash your own underwear while you shower.  Brazilians consider it normal to shower more than once a day.  I read that it is considered rude to check in the refrigerator, between meals.  So far I have not found that to be true.  Brazilians do the kiss on the cheek thing.  Kissing is very normal here.  Fica (making out with a friend) is not considered bad or frowned upon by the population.  Guys boldly try to kiss girls on the lips if they like them.  It’s normal, they are not trying to be offensive, don’t freak out, just say “no thank you” if you are not interested.  If one is particularly obnoxious about it, try explaining that kissing means something totally different in your country.  If you are a girl walking on the road you will be whistled at and honked at a lot. Just ignore it; it’s no big deal.  Brazil is dangerous… I know people who have 

been robbed.  If you have a smart phone keep it hidden and don’t speak English too loudly.  Don’t walk alone after dark.  You should be fine if you stay alert.  

Private versus Public school.  You can be placed in either and it is likely that you will be in a private school.  Private school is more popular here because the public system is considered very bad.  The more you pay the better education you receive.  Uniforms are common, they are plain, have the school logo, and are unattractive.  School schedules are in the morning or afternoon.  My classes are 7am – 12:20 pm.  I have a bunch of classes, fourteen this semester. I attend six classes per day on alternating days.  Physically going to school is a lot more like studying at home with my brothers and cousins close by, than I ever imagined. The students are forever moving their chairs and horsing around. They do some crazy stuff, practicing jujitsu, throwing trash, laughing, joking, sleeping, etc.  Basically no one speaks English.  None of my teachers speak English except of the English teacher. Two girls in my class know some English but I spend more time with the people who speak only Portuguese.  Teachers are personal with the students.  They like to joke around but they can turn super strict.  Bombs in school are popular pranks.   They are more like big fireworks called a rojao that the boys put in the girls bathroom.  I was almost in the bathroom when one blew up so it really had a negative effect on me. The whole school could hear it and had someone been in that stall they probably wouldn’t have been able to just walk away from it.  Cell phones and texting or playing games during class; there is a video camera filming the classroom so usually you have to keep it out of the sight.

Brazilians love to party and dance.  Upon arrival there is an endless list of welcome, AFS, and house parties to choose to attend.  Teenagers regularly go to clubs to dance and enjoy the music.  I have been taught to dance funk about 50 times (and I still can’t really do it) let them teach you!  They love that.  All the excitement, almost on a daily basis, is shocking.  It is the enjoyable kind of shock, but still it leaves you with a surreal feeling that reality has shifted a little.  But as I have said before, it is always Showtime, and exchangers need to remember the three big AFS rules! No driving, hitchhiking, or DRUGS.  There are no excuses and no second chances.

Cell phone service is very confusing here at first because of the language barrier (getting Portuguese texts from vivo all of the time is no fun) but it is much cheaper.  There are two types of contract.  Either “recharge” as you go or pay monthly.  Electrical outlets; I ended up not needing adapters and this kills me because I bought like ten.  Apartments are the most common living arrangement.  There are no clothes dryers.  Clothes, electronics, etc are expensive.  I brought as much as I could and I don’t regret it.    

You will probably gain a lot of weight… Brazilians are always eating.  Rice and beans every day, I like it.  Be honest if you don’t like something so you don’t get stuck eating it all year.  Eating more is a way to say you like the food, if you don’t get seconds it could hurt the chef’s feelings.  (Suggestion, get super small portions) When you are done you can say “eu estou satisfeita”.  Breakfast =café da manha(7am), snack (10am), Lunch= almoca (1pm), café (6pm), Dinner= jantar  (11pm).  Brigadeiros are Brazilians gift to mankind….Seriously.  Junk food isn’t the same here.  The bread is super good.  It’s loafs, no sliced light bread.  We use yogurt in cereal instead of milk.

The Brazilian people are super friendly.  Families are easy going, protective, loving, and extremely excited for you to be in their home.  Social appointments are loosely enforced.  If you are supposed to meet at 2 for an event, the last person will arrive at 3…typical Brazilian.

Since the overall point of this blog series is dedicated to the cycle that travelers experience, this paragraph will discuss the possible shocks that I can expect next year as I return home.  Switching from relating recent experiences to planning for future events may seem awkward.  Trying to imagine, what would be shocking about going home, may seem impossible.  But the constant transition between execution and planning is what keeps you prepared for what comes next.

The first most obvious shock will once again be in verbal communication.  Just as I was shocked upon my arrival to Brazil, even with the knowledge that I did not speak the language, I did not understand how completely our lives are affected by verbal communication.  It is not just productivity, but also our emotions.  Since my arrival to Brazil, I have been surrounded by Portuguese.  The accent, timing, and sentence structure is all different.  Even when I have conversations in English, I am still surrounded by Portuguese.  Returning home, I will be able to understand everything, but the body language will be different.  I expect that I will be extremely conscious of the absence of Portuguese.  In my mind, I remember everything about home, it has not changed.  But, I will be shocked by how little my memory has maintained the essence.

The same will be true of schedules.  Going home I want to plan several days of just being home to become acclimated to eating, exercising, and sleeping.  My hope is to do a better job of documenting the process, and by keeping my body rested, my mind will perceive more.

The largest shock I can imagine on my return will be picking up long term goals quickly and moving forward.  I have not changed my goals and this exchange is a major piece of those goals.  But, I can already feel my view of life changing.  I see a bigger picture, and I am sure that picture will continue to grow.  My personal responsibility will not be to change my goals, but to include my new understanding into those goals accomplishment.  I have a new piece of my family now here in Brazil.  Going back home, taking up the old routine, will certainly happen, but my thoughts will also be on Brazil.